i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
