the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
