I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
you didnt know i had herpes?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
