I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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