just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
