i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
