So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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