Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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