She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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