well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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