Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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