Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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