This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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