His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Operation Purity has been aborted
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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