Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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