i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
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