We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize
