The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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