Dual....:-)
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
