I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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