You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
