All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
