Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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