I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
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