It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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