These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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