That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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