dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
