It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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