Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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