somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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