Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
