I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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