Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Drunk is not a location!
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
