soooo we both peed the bed last night...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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