worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
