Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize