Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
