Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
