How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
