Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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