someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
