tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
