D3 body, D1 cock
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
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