I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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