Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
