I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
