a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Randomize
