I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize
