She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
