I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Sober January is a disaster.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
