remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
