He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
