I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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