4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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