a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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