haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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